Make the best of the situation

I’m organizing the maxims I will be using for teaching our upcoming course on A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness. One of my favorites is:

Just make the best of the situation at this very moment

There is really great wisdom in this teaching. Our life passes by, moment by moment, but how often does the moment meet our expectations? How often are the conditions “ideal” according to our own desires and preferences? If we cultivate the talent of making the best of our situation at this moment, then we’re doing whatever we can to accept the situation and find something valuable, meaningful or joyful in that situation.

Let me give you an example. Yesterday I was playing basketball with my twelve year old daughter, Abbie. We had the whole gym to ourselves, because all the other players had left. We played a game called “two bounce.” Essentially, this is how the game is played. One player shoots. If they score, they get points. If they miss, the other player has to get the ball, but they have to wait until it bounces twice on the floor. If you touch the ball before it bounces twice, or if you allow it to bounce more than twice, than you lose your turn. After the ball bounces twice, you grab the ball and then you have to shoot from that spot. If you make the shot, you get points. If you miss, the other player faces the same challenge – waiting for the ball to bounce twice and then shooting from that spot.

This is a wonderful game about how to live your life. First, you have no control over the other player. Whether they make or miss their shots – there’s nothing you can really do about that. But if they miss, you have to be paying attention so you’re ready to go after the ball. Sometimes the ball just rolls off the rim and you let it bounce twice and now you’re standing right next to the basket – an easy shot. But sometimes it hits the rim with great force and bounces away quickly and by the time it has bounced twice it is 25 feet from the basket. It can bounce so far away that you can’t even shoot the ball far enough to hit any part of the basket. So this is really a game about making the best of the situation at any given moment. If it lands four feet away from the basket, that’s great and you try to make your shot. If it lands ten feet away, that’s OK. You just aim and try your best to get it in. And if it lands 30 feet away, you just laugh about it and maybe you throw it like a baseball and just try to hit any part of the basket. And then your opponent laughs and you laugh and now you’re having fun, despite the fact that you’re losing.

Can you see how this resembles our lives? Things happen that are beyond our control and we find ourselves in a particular spot facing a difficult and even unpleasant challenge. So what can we do? Well, sometimes we can change the situation. That’s great, if you can do it. But in some cases, all we can do is make the best of our situation at that moment. So we accept the conditions of our life and we concentrate and we do our best to address the situation we face. And sometimes there is nothing to do but laugh at ourselves and just do something silly. If we’re lucky, the game will continue and we’ll have another chance from another spot. Even if we’re frustrated or in despair, we should be grateful that the game continues.

I once read an essay by a woman who is a naturalist. She loves trees. She said she admired trees because they really had no choice about where they get planted. A seed lands somewhere and germinates and a tree begins to grow. Some trees end up in a great spot – there’s good soil, lots of sun, and no other trees crowding them. But periodically, I see trees that are growing out of a crack in a cliff. I usually think, “Wow, how did that tree manage to grow out of that little crack between two rocks. That’s amazing.” But what else can the tree do, but just try it’s best to grow in the conditions it is given. It doesn’t complain or get angry or say “why me?” or “it’s just not fair.” I think we could learn a lot from trees. The next time you find yourself in an unfavorable situation – one that disappoints you or fails to meet your expectations, try to be like a tree. Just make the best of the situation in that very moment.

If you can do this, you may not always win the game, but you’ll enjoy the game. And you may

find that everyone will want to play with you.

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