REMOVING THE GREAT WEIGHT OF ANGER AND RESENTMENT
by Gregg Krech
As a child, we hold our parents accountable for their failures. In many cases the stories we weave come from threads of disappointment and resentment. We weren’t loved. Or we weren’t loved enough. Or we were loved imperfectly. Or whatever love we received was corrupted by the myriad ways in which we were hurt or neglected.
Wearing a garment of disappointment, resentment and anger is a great burden.
It continuously weighs us down as we try to move forward in our lives. The toxicity of this story-garment leaches into our relationships with our own partners. It affects our fundamental view of life. It buries us in a complaint-based lifestyle in which our attention is consistently drawn to what is going wrong and how the world fails to meet our expectations. We blame others, particularly our parents, for why our lives are messed up.
The antidote to this poison is sincere and courageous self-examination – one in which we are willing to see our own faults, weaknesses and culpability toward the problems of our relationships. Such a self-examination melts the very foundation of self-righteousness which nurtures our condemnation of the humanness of others.
A softened heart, bathed in humility and compassion for others, is the best chance we have of transforming our story – which transforms our life and releases us from the great weight of anger and resentment.
From Question Your Life: Naikan Self-Reflection and the Transformation of our Stories. Edited by Gregg Krech
(Graphic credit: Mariusz Szmerdt)
Gregg Krech Author, Naikan: Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self-reflection (2002)| Author, A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness (2004, 2011)| Author, A Finger Pointing to the Moon (2000)| Editor, Thirty Thousand Days: A Journal for Purposeful Living (1993-Present)| Director, ToDo Institute (Vermont) (1992-Pr......